One-shot: Restraint

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

Title: Restraint
Author: lookninjas
Characters: Ianto, Tosh
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to 2x04, "Meat"

Summary: Tosh and Ianto practice methods of escape.

Beta'd by the ever-lovely, ever-welcome seize.

Tosh hisses when the rope bites into one of the raw red places still marking her arms, and Ianto's hands still at once. "Too tight?" he asks, his voice worried, his fingers grazing her elbow.

It kills her sometimes, this protectiveness from someone so much younger, so much less experienced. There are times when she wants nothing more than to give him a good shaking, to shout out that she's not a child, that she's not weak, that just because she's smaller than he is... But when she looks at him, she sees the bruises that darken and distort his features, and anger dissolves, replaced by guilt. She did that to him. Because she couldn't get them free of the cannibals, because she couldn't escape the way she ought to have. And Ianto, who should never have been in that position in the first place, risked his life to keep her safe.

It's not going to happen again. By the time she's done, she'll be able to escape from anything.

Tosh manages a smile. Her hair gets in her eyes, and she can't very well brush it away, so she purses her lips, forces a puff of air out, blows it back. "You know," she points out, "most people who tie me up aren't going to ask me if it's too tight."

Ianto ducks his head, abashed. "Fair enough," he says.

That same lock of hair falls in her eyes. Ianto brushes it back, smiles tentatively at her, then goes back to work. The rope bites in again, but Tosh doesn't make a sound.

*

Ianto is good at tying knots; Tosh is good at untying them. Down in the semi-darkness of the Hub's lower levels, with rope and a stopwatch, they practice methods of escape.

They don't talk about what happened in the Beacons. They don't need to. Every time Tosh is struggling, every time it seems like Ianto has managed some sort of Gordian knot that will keep her bound forever, she remembers running through the woods, branches whipping at her, hands knotted firmly behind her back, and thinks, Not again. Never again. And somehow, she gets free.

It's the same for Ianto. He's not as agile as she is, not as flexible, and has a hard time shaking off even Tosh's feeble attempts at restraint. But right when she thinks they should take a break, that she should give him a few minutes before they try again, his eyes open, and he looks at her. She doesn't need to be a mind-reader to know what he's thinking at that moment -- the cannibal's hands on her, meat has to be tenderized. His eyes close, the look of concentration on his face so similar to a look of pain, and he redoubles his efforts. Eventually, the rope slips from his arms, and he looks up at her, smiling triumphantly as she clicks the stopwatch.

He's still not very good at this, and she's not nearly as good as she wants to be, but they're getting better every time, and that has to count for something.

*

Ianto's hands are gentle on her arms, surprisingly so after everything that's happened. She wouldn't blame him for never wanting to speak to her again, after the pendant, after she betrayed them. But he's still so careful, so gentle.

"Ianto," she says, her trembling voice breaking the silence between them. He's behind her, and very close; when she turns her head to look at him, their noses bump, and they both pull back. It was never awkward like this before; Tosh never thought of it as anything... But Mary changed all that, loosened the knots, and Tosh can't help but see things differently now. Down here in the semi-darkness, tying each other up; it's...

She flushes, laughs nervously, ducks her head. She can still feel Ianto's eyes on her. "Right," he says, his voice so close to her ear, and calmly starts untying her.

"Ianto," she says again, helpless and confused and overwhelmed. She's not sure what it is that they're doing, down here with the rope and the stopwatch, but she's not sure she wants to stop, either. Whatever it is, it's a connection, and she couldn't bear to lose it, not now. She needs this.

Ianto doesn't say anything, busy unwinding the rope and untying the knots. The air of the Hub is cold on her arms, and it feels... wrong somehow. She's not sure she wants to be set free just yet. But when she opens her eyes, Ianto is kneeling in front of her, his eyes kind and calm and reassuring.

"There," he says, setting the rope to one side. "Didn't feel like talking to you when you were all tied up."

It's so like him, to be so careful, and she swallows hard against the lump in her throat. "Ianto," she says again, and buries her head in her hands; right now she can't look at him for anything.

Sighing, he takes her by the wrists, places one hand under her chin and lifts her face up so she can't look away from him. She keeps her eyes tight shut. "Tosh," he says, very seriously. "Talk to me."

But she can't speak; Mary is dead and she's betrayed all of them and Ianto shouldn't forgive her this, and it's all too much; she can't bear any of it. She lets out a little strangled sound, and Ianto pulls her in, wraps her up in his arms and pulls her head down to his shoulder, and her restraints all fall away. She sobs and clutches him, and he holds her tightly, strokes her hair. "It's all right, Tosh," he says. "It's all right now."

It isn't, really. But he's here, and whatever is going on between them, at least it's something. She clings to it, to him, desperate to keep from drowning.

*

"Do you love him?" she asks, and Ianto is silent for a while, gives the ropes tying her wrists together a final adjustment, then starts the stopwatch and moves to sit in front of her, watching.

"I don't know," he says, finally, frowning. Tosh tests the ropes; he hasn't given her much room to play with this time around. "I don't think so. I think I could eventually, maybe. When he comes back." He sighs heavily. "If he comes back."

"He'll come back," Tosh says, flexing her wrists. All she has to do is loosen a coil, just one, just enough to slip her hands through, and the rest is easy.

"Maybe." He sighs again, stares down at his hands, and for just a moment, he looks so young. Then his eyes meet hers, and the moment passes. "How about you? I know you... and Owen..."

She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, concentrating, working her thumbs up above the bottom bit of rope. Her eyes are still shut when she finally speaks. "Some days," she says, quietly. "Some days I do. Other times... It's stupid, really. You'd think I'd have learned by now."

Ianto chuckles; it's got a wistful sound to it. "I know the feeling." After a few moments (and she's nearly there, now, just a bit further and she'll have it), he adds, softly, "Sometimes I think... if you and I were to make a go of it... D'you think we'd be happy?"

Tosh curls her hands, pulls her fingers up and free of the first loop of rope. A bit of shifting and it all drops off. She reaches out, catches Ianto's hands in hers; the stopwatch ticks on, unheeded. "I think we'd be content," she says, as gently as she can. "But it's not the same."

"And it's not enough." He doesn't sound hurt, really, more like resigned. Like he was expecting this, almost.

She squeezes his hands. "I'm sorry."

He squeezes back, manages a smile. "Don't be."

*

After all that time, all that practice, it's Ianto who gets tied up again. Ianto, who is so young, so unsure of himself, and Tosh would give anything for it to be her instead. It's all so familiar; the warehouse stinks of blood and terror and the kind of cruelty only humans can inflict; there is a gun to Ianto's head and his hands are tied behind his back. But somehow, Tosh manages to hold not only herself back, but Jack as well. "He can do this," she hisses, her hands tugging Jack back into the shadows. "We have to let him try."

But then Gwen is coming out into the light, dropping her gun, and Tosh and Jack are seen, and although Ianto tries, although he does his best, he isn't fast enough. The gun goes off. Rhys crumples. The creature breaks free.

They save Rhys, in the end, although they can't save the alien, but that's no consolation. Tosh knows what Ianto must be thinking now, how he must feel. What it's like to fail when you're needed most. So she isn't surprised when he comes to her, rope in one hand, stopwatch in the other. "I should have been faster," he says, his voice choked and gravelly. "I should have been..."

When she starts to tie him up, the rope bites into the red weals still showing on his arms. He hisses in pain, and she almost hesitates, almost asks if it's too tight. But then she takes a deep breath, pulls the rope tighter, and keeps going.

Words, Words, Words

One-shot: Restraint